BetterBNC

Place Name: First Place
Contestant Name: UC Berkeley
Entry Title: Ed Sheeran got married, but audiences are barely engaged on ‘=’
Entry Credit: Taila Lee
Judge Comment: This writer may have only given the Ed Sheeran album two stars, but this is an incredibly well-written review. Five stars! The writer is already discovering their voice as a critic, which is awesome. The lede is sharp and sets out a thesis that the author backs up throughout the review. Using the theme of the wedding was a brilliant choice. And that ending? Actually perfect, as opposed to what the writer described as Sheeran's "repetitive sequels to 'Perfect'" on the album. This could run in a major publication as-is.

Place Name: Second Place
Contestant Name: California State University Los Angeles
Entry Title: A call to action: The Soñando project reimagined
Entry Credit: Rosio Flores, Zoe Little
Judge Comment: I love the subject of this story. The article has a solid structure and it includes a lot of voices. The idea of the lede works but it would have been more effective to use the descriptions lower in the story of how they did the production before and then during the pandemic to get the same point across without pinning a strong idea on a weak payoff phrase of "hasn’t been easy."

Place Name: Third Place
Contestant Name: Cal State Long Beach
Entry Title: The last video store in Long Beach is fighting to stay open
Entry Credit: Ulysses Villa
Judge Comment: This is a great story idea with some great details inside the piece. However, the lede is confusing because it makes it sound like the war between video and streaming ended 40 years ago. The writer got a little too into the weeds of the history of the store but the connections with the other local businesses was really interesting.

Competition Comment: General advice: The most successful stories have a strong lede. Don't write to fill space. Make sure every sentence, every quote, every transition, etc., helps move your story forward. If it doesn't, cut it.

Best Arts and Entertainment Story ( More than 15,000 Students)Back